


Neocity

by baekonandeggs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Chaos, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, LGBTQ, Love, M/M, Making things up as I go, Mentioned Other K-pop Artist(s), No Plot/Plotless, Not Canon Compliant, OT23 (NCT), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Texting, like a discord imessage hybrid, like literally the whole fic is just chaos and crack, no beta we just die, plotless crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28713795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekonandeggs/pseuds/baekonandeggs
Summary: RenjunLet’s just stay wholesome and away from threats.JungUwUBut- B-b-but- MURDER!YuTa^ The true test is if one can tolerate us.TyongOk haha funny now let’s not-And Ten stop lurking I know you’re there.TennieHelloPls don’t kill meI kinda like being alive nowYuTaAh fuck forgot u were here and read all thatPlease pretend you didn’t see our plotting to murder you.TennieSaw what?YuTa<3Tennie<3
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Lee Taeyong/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Liu Yang Yang/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun, Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 25
Kudos: 240





	1. Chapter 1

LEE DONGHYUCK has created a group

LEE DONGHYUCK was renamed Haechan

Haechan named the conversation FULL SUN

LEE DONGHYUCK added LEE MARK, NAKAMOTO YUTA, and 12 others

MARK LEE was renamed Mork

Mork: What is this?

Haechan: Welcome to my cult. Bow to me. 

NAKAMOTO YUTA was renamed YuTa

YuTa: Wtf

LEE TAEYONG was renamed Tyong

Tyong: I’m pretty sure founding cults is against university rules. 

Haechan: and I should care why

YuTa: Someone at my old school founded a cult when I was a freshman and almost blew up the school. 

Haechan: … 

Mork: … 

Tyong: … 

KIM JUNGWOO was renamed Potato

Potato named the conversation UN Village

Potato: I don’t wanna get expelled Hyuck

YuTa: why

YuTa: I live and breathe in the university

YuTa: I sleep in the university

YuTa: I eat in the university

YuTa: pls don’t bring school into my social life

JUNG JAEHYUN was renamed Jaehyun

Jaehyun: He… has a point though. 

KIM DONGYOUNG was renamed Doyoung

Doyoung had named the conversation Hyuck’s cult

Jaehyun: The betrayal

Haechan was renamed Hyuck

Hyuck: You are now my favorite

Mork: and me?

Hyuck: mark who?

Mork: why am i still with you

SEO YOUNG-HO was renamed Johnny

Johnny: I wonder that every fucking day. 

Tyong: language

MOON TAEIL was renamed Moon

Moon: I saw you cursing at a wall yesterday because a cute transfer student got off the bus and you spilled your coffee on him. 

Tyong: taeil-

HUANG RENJUN was renamed Renjun

Renjun: Hyung did what

Hyuck: bhahahahahaahah

Tyong: pls stop laughing at my misery

YuTa: never. 

  
  


**Roommates**

Johnny: what’s this i hear

Taeyong was renamed Liar

Johnny: I’m your roommate why did i learn this from Taeil

Liar: it was embarrassing asdfghjkl why would i bring it up

Johnny: so i could laugh at you before offering you my unconditional support in your ultimately failing romantic endeavours. 

Liar: …

Liar: and you wonder why I don't tell you anything

Johnny was renamed Useless

  
  


**Hyuck’s Cult**

ZHONG CHENLE was renamed Lele

Lele: wait crap did anyone do the people photography homework

Lele: i need someone to take pictures of

Lele: like now

PARK JISUNG was renamed Jisung

Jisung: i can help

Jisung: where ru

Lele: dorms

Jisung: omw

Lele: (>^-^)>

  
  


**Jaemin & Jeno**

Nana: … 

Nono: … 

Nana: wow.

Nono: ikr

Nana: …

Nono: … 

Nana: well. nice talk.

Nono: … we have to get to class.

Nana: right.

**china club**

12345678910: I met a boy

kun: you say that everyday

12345678910: yes but it was different this time

sheepsheep: how

12345678910: he spilled his coffee on me

sheepsheep: hahaha

12345678910: quiet. it was a beautiful moment.

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the format...  
> It's just way easier to type on my phone.
> 
> colons on an iPhone are a bitch to type 
> 
> ALSO~ SORRY FOR ANY ADDITIONAL FORMATTING ERRORS! I usually copy and paste onto ao3 docs and I'm way too lazy to reread and format my work. 😅

**Dreamies**

**junnie** added  **MARK LEE**

**junnie**

welcome back

**hyuckie**

yes welcome

**MARK LEE** changed  **MARK LEE** to  **mark**

**mark**

Ithought you guys kicked me out because i entered college

**lele**

yes but now we’re in college so its kind of an invalid point

**jeno**

^^

**nana**

also hyuck was non stop bugging us to add you back

**hyuck**

i wasn’t…?

  
  
  
  


**Donghyuck and Jaemin**

**Jaemin**

you liar. 

**Donghyuck**

*le gasp* 

**Jaemin**

don't deny it. 

**Donghyuck**

I’ll never admit it. 

**Jaemin**

who said you had to

**Jaemin**

i have photographic proof

**Donghyuck**

how??

**Jaemin**

chat history

**Jaemin**

duh

**Donghyuck**

Pls don’t

**Donghyuck**

I’m desperate

**Jaemin**

hm

**Donghyuck**

I’ll buy you ice cream. 

**Jaemin**

… ok deal meet me at the dorm tomorrow. 

**Donghyuck**

what has the world come to?

  
  
  
  


**Panic Room**

**tae1**

why is my life like this

**tae2**

what life crisis are you having now

**tae2**

i'm here to help you through it

**tae1**

bold of you to assume i need your help

**tae2**

have you read the name of the chat

**tae1**

fair point

**tae1**

I ran into the transfer student again. 

**tae2**

No

**tae1**

Yes

**tae2**

sry meant oh no

**tae1**

… 

**tae1**

i'll choose to ignore that

**tae1**

anyways

**tae2**

did u spill coffee on him again

**tae1**

what no why would you assume that

**tae2**

did u

**tae 1**

… no. 

**tae2**

thank goodness

**tae2**

but wait- then why ru using the panic room

**tae1**

i may have

**tae1**

spilled tea 

**tae1**

on him

**tae2**

I-

**tae2**

omg ur hopeless

**tae2**

how tf is that even possible it has only been a few days

**tae1**

i can’t help it! 

**tae1**

my brain cells just melt when i'm near him!

**tae2**

wow

**tae2**

I have no advice for you

**tae2**

except maybe stop carrying hot drinks with u everywhere

**tae1**

i forgot a water bottle

**tae1**

and fyi it was iced tea

**tae2**

i-

**tae2**

ok then

  
  
  
  


**Hyuck’s Cult**

**Taeil**

i just learned the funniest thing today-

**Tyong**

NO TAEIL DON’T YOU DARE

**Taeil**

I learned that if you ask for it, that one campus coffee shop worker gives you a cup of water for free. Can’t remember his name. 

**Taeil**

But i'm saving so much money this year

**Taeil**

what did you think i was gonna say

**Tyong** : i-

**Tyong** : never mind

**Jisung**

Wait what

  
  
  
  


**Roomates**

**Useless**

I'm sensing a secret here

**Useless**

Wait Taeyong stop leaving me on read

**Useless**

Tell me please

**Useless**

Yongiiiieeeee

**Liar** changed  **Useless** to  **Mildly Irritating**

**Mildly Irritating**

Taeyong

Taeyong

Taeyong

Taeyong

Taeyong

**Liar** changed  **Mildly Irritating** to  **Majorly Irritating**

**Majorly Irritating**

Taeyong

Taeyong

Taeyong

**Liar** changed  **Majorly Irritating** to  **fuck off pls**

**fuck off pls**

*sigh*

**fuck off pls**

I’ll just ask you when you get back to the dorm then. 

**Liar** changed  **fuck off pls** to  **U can try**

  
  


**china club**

**sheepsheep**

Where ru Ten

**sheepsheep**

Why tf ru not in class rn

**12345678910**

I’m in the bathroom. 

**sheepsheep**

Are you actually using the bathroom?

**12345678910**

No.

**sheepsheep**

Ugh gross I don’t want to know any more. 

**12345678910**

Wtf. No. 

**sheepsheep**

Then what are you doing?

**12345678910**

Cleaning a stain out of my clothes

**sheepsheep**

… 

**12345678910**

OH MY GOD YANGYANG WHY

@kun You raised him wrong. 

@xiaojun Control your boyfriend. 

**sheepsheep**

But like it’s also partially your fault. 

**12345678910**

Yes I’m very sorry for my parenting lapse. 

  
  
  


**Yanyang and Ten**

**bb**

Why ru actually late

**10**

I told you, someone spilled tea on me. 

**bb**

No you didn’t tell me that. 

**10**

ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

**bb**

Who

**10**

Idk. 

a really hot boy. 

**bb**

I’m seeing a pattern here. 

**10**

U are?

**bb**

Yes. 

**bb**

wait is this the same guy?

**10**

yessss that’s why i'm late. 

**bb**

Nevermind. I’m not seeing a pattern. I’m seeing a problem. 

  
  
  


**Qian Kun & Liu Yangyang**

**Yangyang**

Get your ass to the 2nd floor bathroom. Ten’s having a midlife crisis. You’re the only one I know who had a free period. 

**Kun**

What

**Yangyang**

He’s skipping class to stare at the wall and pine after a boy. 

**Kun**

Not again. 

**Yangyang**

Yes again. 

**Kun**

… 

**Kun**

omw. 

  
  
  


**Hyuck’s Cult**

**YuTa**

I met the new kid

kind of

I saw him

**YuTa**

another senior dragged him into dance

**Hyuck**

And?

**YuTa**

fuck. 

**Rejun**

Pls explain 

**Lele**

^^^

**Jisung**

^^^

**Johnny**

details

**Doyoung**

^^^

**YuTa**

I see how yongie got distracted. 

**Jaehyun**

Ah. 

**Jeno**

Oh. 

**Jaemin**

^

  
  


**Qian Kun & Liu Yangyang**

**Kun**

I gave up my free period for this

**Kun**

Don’t I get a thanks or something?

**Yangyang**

no. 

**Kun**

rude. 

  
  
  


**Kun & Ten**

**Kun**

Wow you were right. 

**Ten**

I’m always right. 

**Ten**

What am I right about?

**Kun**

Yangyang is a tiny, rude demon.

**Kun**

Our parenting has finally backfired on us. 

**Ten**

Pls don’t remind me. 

  
  
  
  


**Dreamies**

**hyuckie**

I met new people

**mark**

Our school is an endless supply of new people. 

**sungie**

Every day I see someone new. It’s disorienting. 

**hyuckie**

No but it’s different for me. 

**hyuckie**

I pride myself on knowing everyone in this school. 

**nana**

Then who's the new kid

**jeno**

he doesn’t know

**hyuckie**

wha- of course i know. 

**Junnie**

then who is it

**lele**

^

**hyuckie**

Tell you later. 

**hyuckie**

I have… class now. 

**mark**

It’s your free period. 

**hyuckie**

You don’t know that

**mark**

i do

**hyuckie**

… 

**hyuckie**

class. 

**hyuckie**

bye. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a kudos and comment if you enjoyed it! 🙃 See you next update 😁 (not Grammarly with 83 errors in this chapter 😭)


	3. Chapter 3

** Dreamies  **

**hyuckie**

Back to what I was saying before class

**hyuckie**

New kids

**hyuckie**

Can I add

**hyuckie**

This chat

**hyuckie**

Pls

**nana**

Sure

**hyuckie**

Welcome them. 

**nana**

fine. 

**hyuckie** added **081 - 7294 - 183**

 **hyuckie** added **164 - 1841 - 218**

**hyuckie** changed **081 - 7294 - 183** to Sungchan

 **hyuckie** changed **164 - 1841 - 218** to Shotaro

**hyuckie** renamed the chat **Mostly Freshmen**

**hyuckie**

Hi!

**jeno**

Welcome to your worst nightmare!

  
  
  


**Donghyuck & Jeno**

**Donghyuck**

I said welcome, didn’t I?

**Jeno**

Yea, I welcomed them. Why are you mad at me?

**Donghyuck**

Not what I meant. 

**Jeno**

Not my fault you weren’t more clear. 

  
  


**Mostly Freshmen**

**Sungchan**

Hi

**Hyuckie** changed **Hyuckie** to **Hyuck**

**Hyuck**

Hi! Please introduce yourself

**Sungchan**

Hi

**Sungchan**

I’m a freshman

**Sungchan**

And I major in dance

**Shotaro**

Hi

**Shoraro**

I’m Shotaro

**Shoraro**

I major in dance

**mark**

You guys major in arts too?

**hyuck**

ofc did u think I’d add someone majoring in business?

**lele**

Maybe. 

**junnie**

yes. 

**hyuck**

((((；ﾟДﾟ)))))))

**mark**

T_T

**jeno**

**♪───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ────♪**

**jisung**

**ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ**

**sungchan**

?

**hyuck**

… you’ll get used to it. 

**mark**

no you won’t

**nana**

no you won’t

  
  


**Hyuck’s Cult**

**YuTa**

This chat has died a tragic death

**Johnny**

Yup. 

**Potato** changed **Potato** to **JungUwU**

**JungUwU**

Not anymore. 

**Taeil**

Why are we drawing apples this is m a d n e s s .

**Johnny**

apples? 

**Taeil**

Art. 

**Johnny**

Ah. 

**YuTa**

I’m sleeping. 

**Jaehyun**

Don’t you have class. 

**YuTa**

probably not. 

**Tyong**

Pls don’t fail school. 

**YuTa**

Why do u care?

**Tyong**

I don’t. 

**YuTa**

That hurts. 

**Tyong**

Too bad for u. 

**YuTa**

pain. 

**Doyoung**

Guess what

**Jaehyun**

What

**Doyoung**

I got a job

**Jeno**

Good for u

**Renjun**

Yay

**Jaemin**

Can u buy me food then

**Hyuck**

Pls?

**Jisung**

(●´ω｀●)

**Hyuck**

(●´ω｀●)

**Doyoung**

… 

**Doyoung**

Ok Jisung

**Doyoung**

Donghyuck get your own food

**Doyoung**

That’s what boyfriends are for

**mork**

… 

**mork**

Gee thanks. 

**mork**

no

**Hyuck**

(-_-* )

**mork**

fine. 

**Hyuck**

(^O^)

**Hyuck**

(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

**Hyuck**

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

**Jisung**

🤦

**Jaehyun**

Wait wait wait. 

**Jaehyun**

Do I get food too?

**Doyoung**

Um

**Doyoung**

Getting a barista job on campus doesn’t make me rich, you know?

**Jaehyun**

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

**Jaehyun**

Pleaseeee?

**Doyoung**

Ugh 

**Doyoung**

Fine. 

  
  
  


**Doyoung & Johnny**

**Johnny**

W h i p p e d

**Doyoung**

i-

**Johnny**

😏

**Doyoung**

Shut it. 

**Doyoung**

Like you’re one to talk. 

**Johnny**

😳

**Johnny**

**🤐**

**Doyoung**

Thought so. 

  
  
  


**Hyuck’s Cult**

**Taeil**

I figured out the name of the coffee guy. 

**YuTa**

Whaat?

**Taeil**

Free campus coffee water guy.

**YuTa**

Who?

**Taeil**

Dong Sicheng

**YuTa**

Ur the best 

**YuTa**

Thanks for saving me from college poverty

**YuTa** changed **Taeil** to **The best**

**Taeil**

:)

**YuTa**

:)

  
  
  


**china club**

**Dejun**

Did u know

**Winwin**

what

**Hendery**

He’s just annoyed that one of Ten’s cats ruined his art thing.

**sheepsheep**

Which one?

**Xuxi**

Louis

**Winwin**

Wait but how

**Winwin**

Do cats really eat much paper

**Dejun**

...

**Dejun**

Never said he ate it

**kun**

…

**kun**

Wait.

**kun**

Oh.

**kun**

Lol

**Xuxi**

What?

**Hendery**

The cat peed on his painting.

**12345678910**

Remind me to congratulate Louis later.

**Dejun**

What.

**Dejun**

@sheepsheep

**Dejun**

Defend me.

**sheepsheep**

Nah.

**sheepsheep**

I didn’t like that picture anyways.

**sheepsheep**

You can do better.

**sheepsheep**

Don’t worry, I believe in you!

**12345678910**

LMAO

**Hendery**

Hahahahaha

**Dejun**

Oh-

**Dejun**

The betrayal.

**Dejun**

I’m breaking up with you. 

**sheepsheep**

No you’re not. 

**Dejun**

sigh*

**Dejun**

No. I’m not. 

**Winwin**

Which one of you told him. 

**12345678910**

Told who?

**sheepsheep**

Said what?

**kun**

Where?

**Xuxi**

Huh?

**Winwin**

A senior. Idk his name. 

**12345678910**

Oooooooh what happened?

**Winwin**

He asked for a cup of water. 

**Hendery**

Um. 

**Hendery**

Lots of people ask for drinks like water Sicheng. 

**Hendery**

You _do_ work at a coffee shop. 

**Winwin**

I knowwww

**Winwin**

But when I tried to charge him for it, he just gave me puppy eyes and asked if he could have it for free. 

**kun**

And… Did you give it to him for free?

**Winwin**

OF COURSE I DID I CAN’T SAY NO TO PUPPY EYES. 

**Winwin**

UGH. 

**sheepsheep**

Sicheng hyung, I don’t know what to tell you, except stop giving out free drinks. You have to be meaner to people. 

  
  
  


**Kun & Ten**

**Kun**

We definitely made a mistake somewhere. 

**Ten**

sigh*

**Ten**

I know. 

**Ten** changed **Kun** to **Disappointment #1**

 **Ten** changed **Ten** to **Disappointment #2**

**Disappointment #1**

I would argue

**Disappointment #1**

But we deserve it

**Disappointment #2**

Unfortunately. 

  
  
  


**china club**

**Winwin**

I don’t think this is good advice. 

**kun**

It really isn’t. 

**Winwin**

Anyways, if u guys didn’t tell him, who did?

**Xuxi**

Have you told anyone else?

**Winwin**

Well… 

**Winwin**

Remember Tuesday?

**Dejun**

When you had your exams?

**Winwin**

Yes. 

**Dejun**

What happened?

**Winwin**

I was tired and suffered through an hour of work. 

**kun**

And?

**Winwin**

Gave a kid water for free because I was too tired to charge him. 

**Hendery**

Somehow, I don’t think that’s allowed. 

**Winwin**

We only charge 50 cents for a small cup of water anyways. The rules are really lax. 

**sheepsheep**

Then why are you mad again?

**Winwin**

Idk

**sheepsheep**

Ok?

**Winwin**

I mean his face annoyed me a little

**Winwin**

And so did the way he asked

**Winwin**

And I don’t know-

**Winwin**

Maybe the fact that he was trying to skirt around the rules of the cafe!?

**12345678910**

He’s probably just trying to save money, Sichengie. 

**Winwin**

So?

**kun**

College. Money. Save. Idk. 

**Winwin**

Well you guys don’t do that!

**12345678910**

… But like do I really need to?

**Winwin**

To be fair, no

**12345678910**

But if I was really desperate, I’d just leech off of Kun’s generosity, and go back to serial first dating.

**kun**

I-

**sheepsheep**

I’ll keep that in mind if I get desperate enough

**sheepsheep**

Thanks Ten

**kun**

Don’t. You. Dare. 

**kun** changed **12345678910** to **Leech**

 **kun** changed **sheepsheep** to **Baby demon**

 **kun** changed **kun** to **Kun**

 **kun** changed **Winwin** to **Win**

 **Kun** changed **Hendery** to **Donkey**

 **Kun** changed **Xuxi** to **Yuk**

 **Kun** changed **Dejun** to **Xiaojun**

**Kun** renamed the chat **Chaos Incarnate**

**Baby demon**

Sounds accurate. 

**Leech**

I disapprove of this nickname. 

**Leech** changed **Leech** to **10**

**10**

Better. 

**Kun**

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if you hadn’t transferred to this school. My life would be so much easier. 

**10**

But you love me. 

**Kun**

Sure. 

**10**

What’s that supposed to mean?

**Kun**

Nothing. 

  
  
  
  


**Hyuck’s Cult**

**Tyong**

Crap I have an exam next week. 

**Mork**

I do too. 

**Hyuck**

That's cause you’re majoring in the same thing. 

**Hyuck**

What are you even having the exam on?

**Mork**

I feel like I told you this. 

**Hyuck**

Oh you did. 

**Hyuck**

I just wasn’t really listening. 

**Mork**

… 

**Hyuck**

What?!?!

**Hyuck**

I was probably tired. And although it is my official boyfriendly duty to make you happy, that doesn’t mean I’m always listening to you. 

**The best**

And this, fellow scholars, is a perfect example of a healthy relationship. 

**Renjun**

Noted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed, it really makes my day! :D
> 
> On another note, Promise will update soon, I just haven’t had time to finish writing the chapter. Exam cramming and all that. (I don’t understand why the fuck I need to understand the altitude of a triangle~ when will I ever need to use that skill?)
> 
> See ya’ll next update!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY FOR THE MANY MANY FORMATTING ERRORS. IT JUST DOESN'T TRANSFER WELL FROM GOOGLE DOCS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW CHAPTER!! :D
> 
> #Quarentinebday lmao
> 
> I spent mine
> 
> ...in zoom school. 
> 
> fun.

**Hyuck’s Cult**

**YuTa**

Guess what

**The best**

what

**YuTa**

I,

**YuTa**

saw

**Renjun**

********

********

{...) 

**Jaehyun**

Σ（・□・；）

**Jaehyun**

Well? What?

**Doyoung**

Where did u goooo??

**The best**

I need this tea to survive- 

**The best**

I have to go to hell now. 

**Lele**

*?*

**Doyoung**

*He means math.*

**Jisung**

*oh*

**YuTa**

… Never mind. 

**The best**

(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

**The best**

What. 

**JungUwU**

Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）

**Johnny**

:(；ﾞﾟ'ωﾟ'):

**Hyuck**

Dang you got my hopes up. 

**Hyuck**

I thought it was something good. 

**Hyuck**

I’m disappointed in you Yuta. 

**YuTa**

IT WAS GOOD! 

**YuTa**

But like the person it was about just threatened me. **YuTa**

With

**YuTa**

Um. 

**YuTa**

Yeah. 

**YuTa**

Lets just. 

**YuTa**

Not. 

**Renjun**

uGh. 

**Renjun**

wHy. 

**Tyong**

(T-T)

**Mark**

(￣ー￣)

**Hyuck**

Hey wait where are Jeno and Jaemin?

**Hyuck**

Wait-

**Hyuck**

NO-

**Hyuck**

Don’t tell me they’re-

  
  


**Yuta & Jaemin**

**Jaemin**

Say we’re in class 

**Yuta**

Make me. 

**Jaemin**

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ 

**Jaemin**

Pweeeasseeeee??

**Yuta**

Dang you are _desperate._

**YuTa**

No. 

**Jaemin**

Ugh. 

**Jaemin**

Fine.

**Jaemin**

Let’s make this simple. If you _don’t_ , 

**Jaemin**

You can buy your own damn food next week. 

**Yuta**

Nooooooooo

**Yuta**

You wouldn’t-

**Jaemin**

I would-

**Yuta**

You don’t even pay for my food-

**Jaemin**

I can easily bribe Chenle. 

**Jaemin**

_So._

**Jaemin**

Pwease?

**Yuta**

ARGHHHHH GEEZ YOU MONSTER

**Yuta**

Fine. 

  
  
  


**Hyuck’s Cult**

**Yuta**

Geez Hyuck

**Yuta**

They’re in class right now. 

**Hyuck**

Oh. 

**Hyuck**

I was hoping they would come and deny everything. It’s funny when they panic. 

  
  
  


**Jaemin & Jeno**

**Nana**

Lmao

**Nono**

Lmao

**Nana**

Will u get me ice cream

**Nana**

Pwease

**Nono**

Yep

**Nana**

This is why I date you and not Yuta. 

**Nono**

Meet me at the corner. 

**Nana**

OMW

**Nana**

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

  
  
  


**Hyuck’s Cult**

**Hyuck**

Ok I think you all have forgotten the main point of this chat. 

**Renjun**

Pls tell. 

**Mork**

Don’t Hyuck-

**Hyuck**

What?!

**Hyuck**

THIS IS MY CULT EVERYONE I EXPECT EVERYONE TO PAY WEEKLY TAXES IN THE FORM OF FREE FOOD. 

**Tyong**

No. 

**Hyuck**

Yes. 

**Jaehyun**

No. 

**Hyuck**

Yes. 

**The best**

No. 

**The best**

No. 

**The best**

No. 

**The best**

No. 

**The best**

No. 

**Hyuck**

What if I split the taxes with you?

**The best**

… 

**The best**

Sure. 

**Hyuck** changed **Hyuck** to **Sun**

 **Sun** changed **The best** to **Moon**

 **Sun** changes **Hyuck’s Cult** to **Sun & Moon Cult**

**Mork**

Why don’t I get free food?

**Sun**

You’re the one giving me free food. 

  
  


**Seniors + Jaehyun**

**Yuta**

Ooohhhhhhhh

**Jaehyun**

I kinda

**Jaehyun**

Really feel bad for Mark. 

**Doyoung**

Sometimes I wonder why he’s still dating that menace. 

**Tyong**

I always wonder about that. 

**Johnny**

I don’t. 

**Taeil**

Mark can’t stand up for himself

**Taeil**

When it comes to Hyuck. 

**Yuta**

It’s both adorable and pathetic. 

**Tyong**

^^

**YuTa**

By the way

**Yuta**

How is your equally adorable

**Yuta**

And equally pathetic

**Yuta**

Crush on the new kid

**Tyong**

It's not pathetic. 

**Johnny**

Like you totally didn’t talk about him for an hour yesterday night while we were eating. 

**Tyong**

YOU ASKED!

**Johnny**

I DIDN’T EXPECT A SPEECH!

**Yuta**

Lmao

**Yuta**

You’re both pathetic

**Taeil**

I would disagree-

**Taeil**

But I honestly can’t. 

**Taeil**

Wait why is Johnny pathetic?

**Yuta**

I’m not at liberty to disclose that information right now. 

**Yuta**

Please try again later. 

  
  
  


**Mostly Freshmen**

**Hyuck**

I think

**Nana**

You guys

**Lele**

Are ready

**Mark**

For

**Jeno**

Initiation

**Jisung**

Into

**Junnie**

The big chat

**Shoraro**

?

**Sungchan**

What?

**Hyuck**

The schoolwide one

**Sungchan**

Oh cool

**Sungchan**

Who is in it

**Hyuck**

Well. 

**Junnie**

Seniors: Taeyong, Doyoung, Yuta, Johnny, Taeil

**Junnie**

They’re like

**Jaemin**

Parents. 

**Junnie**

Literally. 

**Junnie**

Xept like Yuta. 

**Junnie**

If Yuta was in charge of a kid, that kid would starve to death or drown or something. 

**Jeno**

Juniors: jaehyun

**Jeno**

He’s lonely. It’s simultaneously sad and hilarious. 

**Mark:**

Sophomores: Me and Jungwoo

**Mark**

But everyone is constantly bullying me

**Mark**

And not Jungwoo

**Mark**

Unfair. 

**Hyuck**

Freshmen (the best grade): Me, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, Renjun, and Jisung. 

**Jisung**

Words of advice: (that you need to survive)

  1. Don’t mess with Taeyong
  2. Mess with Mark
  3. Don’t listen to Hyuck
  4. Use puppy eyes to get free food
  5. Johnny and Taeil are stupid - You’ll see
  6. Jaehyun and Doyoung are also stupid - Again, you’ll see. 
  7. Taeyong is hopelessly pining for someone (... again)
  8. There’s this guy at the campus coffee shop that gives out free water
  9. Show no mercy
  10. Um That's pretty much it? Idk. 



**Lele**

Quite the speech there. 

**Hyuck**

**👏👏👏**

**Shotaro**

… 

**Hyuck**

Are you sure you want to join?

**Sungchan**

Not really no

**Hyuck**

Too bad

**Hyuck**

Adding u anyways. 

  
  
  


**Donghyuck and Mark**

**Mark**

Are you going to tell them that you just want them there so they can buy you free food?

**Hyuck**

What?! 

**Hyuck**

I don’t know what you’re talking about!

**Mark**

… 

**Hyuck**

Ok ok fine. 

**Hyuck**

No.

**Hyuck**

Definitely not telling them. 

  
  


**Sun & Moon Cult**

**Sun** added **Shotaro**

 **Sun** added **Sungchan**

 **Sun** changed **Shotaro** to **Taro**

 **Sun** changed **Sungchan** to **Sun2**

**Hyuck**

WELCOME NEWBIES!

**Hyuck**

NOW ONTO MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS -

**Hyuck**

PAY UP BITCHES

**Hyuck**

I NEED FUNDS OR FOOD

**Tyong**

… 

**Tyong**

No. 

**Hyuck**

Why?

**Tyong**

No. 

**Taeil**

Pls?

**Tyong**

No. 

Go away. I don’t care where. Just both of you go away. Pls just give me one hour of peace. 

**Johnny**

Uh

**Johnny**

Yongie?

**Johnny**

Are you ok?

**Tyong**

Yes. 

**Taro**

Um

**Taro**

Hi?

**Tyong**

Oh hi! Welcome! Hello! Nice to meet you!!

**Hyuck**

… 

**Hyuck**

Is this the same Taeyong hyung I was just talking to?

**Sun2**

Idk

**Taeyong**

OH! HI! ANOTHER NEW PERSON! NICE TO MEET YOU!!!

**Taeil**

Now you’re just scaring me. 

**Johnny**

Yeah this feels a bit passive aggressive

**Johnny**

Are you sure you’re ok?

**Taeyong**

NO 

**Taeyong**

I MEAN YES. YES. I’M PERFECTLY FINE. SPLENDID. NOT HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN. I AM JUST FINE. AMAZING. FANTASTIC. YEP. NO NEED TO WORRY! I’M DOING GREAT!!!!!!!!!!

**Jaehyun**

Now this -

**Jaehyun**

This is scary. 

**Jaehyun**

I fear for my life. 

**Doyoung**

… 

**Doyoung**

EVERYBODY EVACUATE. 

  
  
  


**Chaos Incarnate**

**10**

Hey

**10**

Random question -

**10**

Anyone hear the screaming coming from room 307?

**Baby demon**

Sum glass be breaking rn

**Baby demon**

Wow the volume 

**Baby demon**

Impressive

**Baby demon**

I aspire to achieve that standard one day. 

**Kun**

No

**Kun**

Yangyang

**Kun**

Don’t. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buncha random notes this week: 
> 
> Please leave a kudos and comment if you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> I've been listening to SKZ We Go on repeat this week. It's just 🔥🔥🔥.
> 
> I have a new NCT fic coming soon, it's Nomin focused. :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MIDTERMS ARE OVERRRRRRRR  
> SO HERES ANOTHER CHAPTER!

**Sun & Moon Cult**

**Doyoung**

So. 

**Doyoung**

Anyone want to explain what happened yesterday?

**Doyoung**

*cough* Taeyong *cough*

**JungUwU**

*COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH*

**Sun**

It’s been 10 minutes

**Sun**

Where tf are you hyung

**YuTa**

*AGGRESSIVE HACKING*

**Jisung**

… 

**Tyong**

**ʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄**

**Tyong**

🪦💔💀

**Jaehyun**

FINALLY

**Jaehyun**

Wait. 

**Jaehyun**

Who died?

**Moon**

Did Johnny die?

**Moon**

I mean

**Moon**

I would be kinda sad ig. 

**Johnny**

Nah I’m alive

**Johnny**

yOu GuESs?

**Moon**

OH

**Moon**

JOHNNY! YOUR ALIVE! I'M SO GKAD!

**Tyong**

You’re*

**Tyong**

Glad*

**Johnny**

@Moon

**Johnny**

Bish

**Jaehyun**

@Tyong ???

**Tyong**

My cat died. 

**Mork**

What

**Renjun**

NOOOOOOOO

**Renjun**

IM SO SORRYYYYYYY

**Tyong**

I’m*

**Renjun**

…

**Jisung**

💔 💔 💔 💔 💔 

**Tyong**

💔 💔 💔 💔 💔

**Tyong**

Which is why

**Tyong**

You are all invited 

**Tyong**

To a cat funeral

**Tyong**

At WayV Park

**Tyong**

Tomorrow night. 

**Sun**

Wait

**Sun**

But

**Sun**

What exactly are we doing at that park?

**Tyong**

Burying my cat

**Tyong**

Duh

**Mork**

… 

**Mork**

I’ve known you like four years now

**Mork**

And I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say

**Mork**

Duh. 

**Tyong**

Duh. 

**Taro**

?

**Tyong**

Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. 

**Tyong**

Now you’ve heard me say it

**Tyong**

Well not heard but u know what I mean. 

**Sun**

WAIT WAIT WAIT BACK TO THE ORIGINAL SUBJECT WE’RE BURYING YOUR CAT?

**Sun2**

Isn’t… that illegal?

**Jisung**

Public park and all

**Tyong**

@Jisung bish I’m broke u think I can afford to actually bury her in a cemetery

**Lele**

*sigh

**Lele**

I’ll pay. Geez. 

**Tyong**

**🙏 🙏 🙏 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️**

**Jaemin**

❤️

**Jeno**

Chenle can you pay for my college

**Lele** changed  **Lele** to  **Chenle**

**Chenle**

No wtf

**Tyong**

LANGUAGE OH MY GOD

**Doyoung**

He’s in college let him be

**Jaehyun**

LMAO

**Tyong**

😱😱😱

**Jaemin**

Chenle can you pay for my lunches

**Chenle**

Again

**Chenle**

NO WHAT THE FUCK I’M NOT YOUR PERSONAL MONEY BAG

**Renjun**

But like you kinda are

**Jaemin**

yOU pAy fOr yUtA And jIsUngs lUnchEs why nOt mInE?

**Chenle**

Jisung is actually nice to me usually

**Chenle**

And for Yuta it’s just pity 

**Chenle**

And bribery. 

**Chenle**

His lunch deal expires at the end of this month. 

**YuTa**

Sadly. 

**Jisung**

What’s the bribe? @Chenle

**Chenle**

… 

**Jisung**

@YuTa

**YuTa**

I’m not at liberty to disclose this right now. 

**YuTa**

Please try again later. 

**Jisung**

You both disappoint me. 

  
  


**Yuta & Chenle**

**Chenle**

YUTA DO SOMETHING

**Yuta**

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

**Chenle**

I DUNNO 

**Chenle**

SOMETHING

**Yuta**

WOW HELPFUL

**Chenle**

I KNOW I’M TRYING TO BE

**Yuta**

NO U

**Chenle**

WHAT?

**Yuta**

IDK JUST SOMETHING JOHNNY SAID LAST WEEK

**Yuta**

I RAN OUT OF SMART THINGS TO SAY

**Chenle**

CLEARLY

**Chenle**

NOW PLS PLS PLS PLS

**Yuta**

...

**Chenle**

PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS

**Chenle**

DO SOMETHING IF U CAN

**Chenle**

I DON’T WANT TO BE A DISAPPOINTMENT

**Yuta**

THIS IS NOT WHAT I AGREED TO

**Chenle**

WELL TOO BAD

**Yuta**

I HAVE TO GET TO CLASS TTYL

**Chenle**

DON’T ABANDON ME!

**Chenle**

WHAT SHOULD I DO???

**Yuta**

Listen, you have to be yourself. Trying to be someone you’re not won’t get you anywhere. You have to be a duck, even when the world wants you to act like a goose. 

**Chenle**

Is that from the internet?

**Yuta**

Yeah how did you know

**Chenle**

That weird as fuck duck metaphor

**Yuta**

Yeah it's kinda strange

**Yuta**

I’ll delete it for next time I give this advice to someone. 

**Chenle**

Wdym delete it

**Yuta**

I have this google document with a bunch of wise advice and things from the internet. That way, when people ask me for help I sound smart. 

**Chenle**

Who is stupid enough to go to you for help?

**Yuta**

You apparently. :D

**Chenle**

Dang. 

**Chenle**

You got me there. 

  
  


**Roomates**

**Liar**

I

**Liar**

Got

**Liar**

A

**Liar**

#

**U can try**

?

**U can try**

I hate this name

**U can try** changed  **U can try** to  **Therapist**

**Therapist** changed  **Liar** to  **Panicked Gæ**

**Therapist**

So what happened?

**Panicked Gæ**

Gegjwidhhwjwuhdhwhwgsg

**Therapist**

I see. 

  
  


**Johnny & Taeil**

**Johnny**

I’m not cut out for this. 

**Taeil**

What?

**Johnny**

Please therapvise Taeyong for me. 

**Taeil**

*sigh

**Taeil**

What happened this time?

**Johnny**

A hot boy broke him. 

**Johnny**

What happened last time?

**Taeil**

A hot boy broke him. 

**Taeil**

Idk why I even deal with this anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a kudos and comment if you enjoyed!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im back after a long period of no motivation to do anything

**Panic Room**

**tae2**

Never fear, I am here to help.

**tae1**

With what

**tae2**

I dunno

**tae2**

All your life problems

**tae1**

Rlly?

**tae2**

No

**tae2**

Just what you were bothering Johnny about. 

**tae1**

Damn it. 

**tae1**

Anyways I ran into the boy. 

**tae1**

And I got his number. 

**tae1**

And we have a date tonight. 

**tae1**

and idk wtf to wear. 

**tae2**

yOu’Re tELLiNg mE tHaT yOuR pRobLEm tHAT jOhNNy cOuLdn’T sOLVe WaS ThaT yOu aRe haviNG oUTfiT pRobLeMs?

**tae1**

Idk

**tae1**

He didn't bother asking me what my problems were

**tae1**

He just left me on “read” for 5 minutes before telling me that you were gonna solve all my problems. 

**tae1**

So here I am. 

**tae2**

Wellllllll I’m gonna pass your problems back to Johnny-

**tae2**

Cya. 

  
  


**Johnny & Taeil**

**Taeil**

I can’t believe you. 

**Taeil**

I WAS 5 MINUTES LATE TO A CLASS BC I WAS DEALING WITH YOUR SHIT. 

**Johnny**

What did I do???

**Taeil**

Out of pure pettiness, I’m not gonna tell you. Don’t talk to me anymore this week. 

**Johnny**

I am so confused. 

**Taeil**

Good. 

  
  


**Roomates**

**Panicked Gæ**

Guess who’s back?!

**Therapist**

You

**Panicked Gæ**

Correct!

**Panicked Gæ**

Now help me with my fucking problem. 

**Therapist**

👀

**Therapist**

Well firstly, I thought Taeil was helping you. 

**Therapist**

Second, are you ok??

**Panicked Gæ**

I dunno, am I?

**Panicked Gæ**

I haven’t been on a date in over a year. 

**Panicked Gæ**

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR PLS HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

**Therapist**

Good for you!

**Therapist**

Also I’ve said it before  
 **Therapist**

And I’ll say it again;

**Therapist**

Your caps lock is scary.

**Panicked Gæ**

Ok great now help me please

**Therapist**

I’ll be back at the dorm in like 5 minute so just wait pls-

**Panicked Gæ**

*sigh

**Panicked Gæ**

Okay.

  
  
  


**Chaos Incarnate**

**Donkey**

Whos still awake

**Donkey**

I need help

**Kun**

Its 3am

**Xiaojun**

What the fuck-

**Yuk**

I am

**Baby demon**

Hi

**10**

Yangyang sleep. 

**Baby demon**

I refuse. 

**Kun**

Yangyang, no. Sleep. 

**Baby demon**

Yangyang, yes. 

**Baby demon**

I'm an adult now. 

**Kun**

How exactly do you define adult?

**Baby demon**

Freedom

**Kun**

Pay for your own shit then

**Baby demon**

Nvr mind i'm right on the verge of becoming an adult

**Baby demon**

But i'm not

**Baby demon**

Im 20

**Baby demon**

Not a baby but not an adult

**Win**

You’re somehow great at loopholes

**Baby demon**

Ikr

**Win**

@Donkey what did u want tho

**Donkey**

Just wanted to ask where my pencil case went?

**Donkey**

I had this pencil in there that I wanted to use

**Xiaojun**

Again

**Xiaojun**

Wtf

**10**

You woke everyone up

**10**

For a fucking _pencil_?

**Win**

Smh

**Yuk**

^

**Donkey**

I woke no one up. 

**Donkey**

Just asked if u were available. 

**Donkey**

I know y'all were already awake. 

**Baby demon**

Well

**Baby demon**

I haven’t seen your pencil sry

**Baby demon**

Not that I really know what it looks like-

**Donkey**

The pencil _case_ it’s in is Shrek themed. 

**10**

PFFTTTTTTTTT-

**Kun**

I didn’t think you still had that

**Xiaojun**

CAS THAT WAS THE BEST GAG GIFT EVER-

**Yuk**

Ikr

**Yuk**

Btw I just found this kaomoji

**Yuk**

Its called give my shit back

  * _(ﾟ ∀ﾟ )≡ ヽ(Ａ`)ﾉ≡



  
  
  


**chinaHSgang - INSTAGRAM MESSAGE**

**NeoUn_sheepsheep**

Theres this beautiful emoji

**NeoUn_sheepsheep**

  * **_(ﾟ ∀ﾟ )≡ ヽ(Ａ`)ﾉ≡**



**NeoUn_sheepsheep**

This is my not so subtle hint that you guys owe me $20 for the bet you lost. (*cough cough shuhua, jun* not you yiren)

**idle_bookflower**

im broke

**idle_bookflower**

I’ll pay you back next year

**17june**

same

**4ever_Yiren**

Haha losers

**4ever_Yiren**

yangyang pls transfer half of that to me

**NeoUn_sheepsheep**

gotcha

**idle_bookflower**

I hate yall. 

**idle_bookflower**

…

**idle_bookflower**

Reunion soon? 

**idle_bookflower**

(v◕ᴥ◕)

**17june**

Def

**4ever_Yiren**

*cheers

**4ever_Yiren**

I’ll get to bother you until you PAY UP

**17june**

Regret is starting to sink in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a kudos and comment if you enjoyed!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More crack and shit I write when I’m running on caffeine.

**Roomates**

**Panicked Gæ** renamed the chat  **and they were roomates**

**Panicked Gæ** changed  **Panicked Gæ** to  **Taken <3**

**Taken <3 ** changed  **Therapist** to  **Certified Fashionista**

**Taken <3 **

Fbshfusjxjusjidifyxbsixxjhs

**Certified Fashionista**

I C

**Certified Fashionista**

I SENSE THAT I AM NOW THE ONLY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS DORM ROOM

**Certified Fashionist**

DAMN YONGIE GO GET SUM

**Taken <3**

TY <3 <3 <3

**Taken <3**

YOU’RE THE BEST 

**Taken <3**

I’M LITERALLY SCREAMING RIGHT NOW

**Taken <3**

I NEVER SCREAM

**Certified Fashionista**

But on another more serious note

**Certified Fashionista**

I’ve never actually met him before. 

**Certified Fashionista**

Add him to the cult. He needs to experience the full force of concerned friends before he can date you. 

**Taken <3 **

I am hesitant to do that-

**Certified Fashionista**

Don’t worry

**Certified Fashionista**

We won’t scare him off

**Certified Fashionista**

Probably. 

**Taken** **< 3**

I feel like that’s the best I’m gonna get. 

**Taken <3 **

Adding now. 

  
  


**Sun & Moon Cult**

**Tyong** added  **xxx-xxx-xxxx**

**Tyong** changes  **xxx-xxx-xxxx** to  **tennie**

**Sun**

Who

**Sun**

What

**Sun**

Where

**Sun**

When

**Sun**

Why

**Sun**

Oh

**Sun**

oH

**Sun**




**Sun**

@everyone Y’ALL BETTER GET YOUR ASSES ONLINE RIGHT NOW

**Sun**

IDFC IF ITS A SATURDAY

**Sun**

CODE RAINBOW

**Sun**

DEATH TIME

**Doyoung**

JISUNG GOT A BOYFRIEND?

**Doyoung**

They grow up so fast UwU

**Jisung**

I feel like we’ve previously established I’m straight

**Jisung**

Also

**Jisung**

Why is there a code for that-

**Sun**

What? Psh, it’s totally not for you. And EVEN IF IT IS, now it’s for shovel talking Taeyong’s new boyfriend. 

**Sun**

I expect everyone to be here for maximum threatening-ness

**Johnny**

Present

**Jaehyun**

Here

**JungUwU**

**YuTa**

You interrupted my sleep you piece of shit

**Moon**

Here

**Renjun**

This better be important 

**Sun2**

Present

**Taro**

Hi

**Chenle**

Here

**Jeno**

Here and Jaemin’s here too. 

**Mork**

Here ig

**Tyong**

No no no

**Tyong**

All of you go away. 

**Tyong**

You’re all embarrassing me. 

**Tyong**

Actually this whole thing is backwards

**Tyong**

Shouldn’t I be the one giving shovel talks?

**Chenle**

No

**Chenle**

You’re always looking after us

**Chenle**

So we’re looking after you

**Chenle**

Cause you deserve to be loved hyung

**Jisung**

^

**Jaehyun**

^

**Doyoung**

Awwww

**Moon**

Wholesome moments =)

**Johnny**

Ikr

**Renjun**

Let’s just stay wholesome and away from threats. 

**JungUwU**

But-

**JungUwU**

B-b-but- MURDER!

**YuTa**

^

**YuTa**

The true test is if one can tolerate us. 

**Tyong**

Ok haha funny now let’s not-

**Tyong**

And Ten stop lurking I know you’re there. 

**Tennie**

Hello

**Tennie**

Pls don’t kill me

**Tennie**

I kinda like being alive now

**YuTa**

Ah fuck forgot u were here and read all that

**YuTa**

Please pretend you didn’t see our plotting to murder you. 

**Tennie**

Saw what?

**YuTa**

<3

**Tennie**

<3

**Tyong**

Ok so is the shovel talking over now-

**Tennie**

Its ok

**Tennie**

You’ll have to face my friends also XD

**Tyong**

o

**Sun**

What’s your group chat called?

**Tennie**

Chaos Incarnate?

**Sun**

Ok I approve

**Tyong**

What-

**Tyong**

How-

**Moon**

*sigh 

**Moon**

You poor confused child. 

**Moon**

What would you do without us?

**Tyong**

I dunno. 

**Tyong**

Probably have more fun?

**Tyong**

Wouldn’t have to worry about you all. 

**Tyong**

Wouldn’t have to CONSTANTLY PROVIDE FOOD FOR EVERYONE-

**Tennie**

If that’s your biggest problem in life, you probably shouldn’t be dating me-

**Tennie**

All my friends like to leech off of other people’s generosity. 

**Tennie**

Either be the leech or be leeched. 

**Tennie**

It’s a deadly game of survival. 

**Sun**

Sounds like fun

**Sun**

Can we add them here?

**Jaemin**

That would be pog

**Doyoung**

Wha-

**Jaemin**

See, unlike you hyung, I keep up with what’s going on in the world. 

**Jaemin**

(aka I’m not a social recluse with no boyfriend ʕʘ‿ʘʔ)

**Doyoung**

When’d you get a boyfriend? Do we need to code rainbow again?

**Jaemin**

wsit whaf ni fprget i saif anythimg

**Doyoung**

Tf

**Johnny**

Anyways, back to the original topic-

**Johnny**

Ten you sound nice but if you hurt my roomate I will hunt you down and murder you, then dump your corpse in the ocean. 

**YuTa**

^

**Jaehyun**

^

**Moon**

^

**JungUwU**

^

**Mork**

^

**Tennie**

Good to know :)

**Sun**

WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT

**Tennie**

?

**Sun**

Is your name actually ten?

**Tennie**

Well

**Tennie**

Um

**Tennie**

See

**Tennie**

I

**Tennie**

Um

**Tennie**

No?

**Tennie**

But I go by Ten so

**Tennie**

Yeah. 

**Jisung**

Wait so what IS your name?

**Chenle**

^

**Taro**

^

**Tennie**

You’ll never know. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Sun**

I refuse to accept that

**Sun**

@Tyong do you know?

**Tyong**

Yes. 

**Moon**

Tell

**Tyong**

No

**Johnny**

Tell

**Tyong**

No

**Renjun**

… pls?

**Tyong**

… no. 

**Tyong**

It’s not for me to tell you :)

**Tennie**

:)

**Sun**

Mysteries of life:

  1. What’s in Taeil’s backpack?
  2. Is Jisung actually straight?
  3. What’s Ten’s name?



**Jaehyun**

But like actually wtf is in your backpack Taeil

**Moon**

yOu’LL nEVeR kNoW

__________

**Chaos Incarnate**

**Kun**

Ten

**Kun**

Something you want to tell us?

**Kun**

See one of my other friends mentioned that his crush had a bf now-

**Kun**

Then he said the bf was you

**Kun**

So...

**10**

Huh? No?

**Xiaojun**

No one new in your life we need to talk about?

**10**

Are you high?

**Donkey**

Are you sure???

**Win**

_Nobody?_

**Baby demon**

Nobody we need to threaten to kill?

**10**

Tf are you ALL high?

**10**

Cause like Hendery and YangYang I understand but _Sicheng_ and _Xiaojun_ and _KUN-_

**10**

Damn

**10**

This isn’t fun to say, but

**10**

I’m ashamed and disappointed in you all. 

**10**

Nah actually I take that back saying that was extremely gratifying. 

**Kun**

Fuk you. 

**10**

When?

**10**

Oh and where?

**10**

Preferably after this weekend cause I have a performance coming up that's more important than you. :)

**Baby demon**

Damn kun hyung

**Baby demon**

Whatcha gonna say to that?

**Xiaojun**

Wouldn’t that be cheating?

**Win**

On the new bf you FORGOT TO TELL US ABOUT

**Donkey**

*cough *cough

**10**

Idk what you’re talking about. 

**Win**

This is frustrating. 

**Baby demon**

OHHHHHHH

**Baby demon**

I SEE WHAT THIS IS ABOUT

**Baby demon**

ITS BC MY COUSIN GOT ME A POWER DRILL FOR MY BDAY LAST MONTH AND I SAID THAT IF ANYONE GOT A SIGNIFICANT OTHER I WOULD SKIP THE SHOVEL TALK AND JUST DRILL A HOLE IN THEM. 

**Baby demon**

ARE YOU SCARED OF ME? (*≧∀≦*)

**10**

No I’m not but I do like my boyfriends in one piece

**10**

Ya know, without any holes in their stomachs?

**10**

Don’t you love it when your boyfriend is actually alive?

**10**

I’m not scared of the threat, it’s just that you actually HAVE THE FUCKING POWER DRILL IN YOUR FUCKING CLOSET LIKE WHO ACTUALLY KEEPS THAT SHIT IN THEIR CLOSET-

**10**

ON SECOND THOUGHT, WHY WOULD A COLLEGE STUDENT EVEN NEED A POWER DRILL-

**10**

AND WHO TF GETS THEIR COUSIN THAT FOR THEIR BDAY WTF

**Kun**

Calm down

**Kun**

But I agree wtf was that gift-

**Kun**

And why is it in your closet?

**Kun**

Actually is that even legal?

**Kun**

I’m actually pretty sure this is against university rules. 

**Baby demon**

Dunno

**Baby demon**

Also I didn’t want to leave it at home. My parents would probably use it on the neighbor’s house’s support beams so their house collapses on their heads. 

**Xiaojun**

I’m almost afraid to ask this

**Xiaojun**

But _why_?

**Baby demon**

Eh it’s just bc the neighbors have sex all the time and their walls are thin af, so you can hear them going at it until like 2am. And like GEEZ it’s SO LOUD I GOT 0 HOURS OF SLEEP WHEN I STILL LIVED AT MY PARENTS’ HOUSE FULL TIME. And my window used to be right across from their bedroom window, and sometimes they forgot to close the blinds and

**Baby demon**

Yeah

**Baby demon**

That's pretty much it. 

**Yuk**

Uhm

**Donkey**

Ok ok tmi

**Win**

^ yeah all I needed to know was that they were noisey-

**10**

For once I agree

**10**

I did _not_ need to know that. 

**10**

Wait but pls tell me they weren’t like grandparent age

**Baby demon**

Nah just a couple of horny adults. 

**Kun**

Thank god

**Baby demon**

Probably. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**10**

I REALLY didn’t need that mental image. 

**Baby demon** added **xxx-xxx-xxxx** to the chat

**Baby demon** changed **xxx-xxx-xxxx** to **that not so secret bf**

**Baby demon**

I have a power drill

**Baby demon**

If you hurt my cash supplier, I’ll drill a hole in your stomach. 

**Baby demon**

I’ve done it before and won’t hesitate to do it again. 

**Baby demon**

Okie?

**Donkey**

I’ll help you

**Yuk**

Ig I will too

**Win**

Sure

**Xiaojun**

Why not

**that not so secret bf**

Hi? Who are you?

**that not so secret bf**

Is this a gang or smth I think you’ve got the wrong person

**that not so secret bf**

Pls don’t kill me I saw nothing

**Kun**

Yangyang what the hell did you just do-

**10**

I’m not sure if I should be touched or annoyed. 

**10**

Ok so hi Yongie I swear we aren’t a gang and I swear Yangyang hasn’t actually murdered anyone before pls believe me

**that not so secret bf**

Oh hi

**that not so secret bf**

You saw the cult

**that not so secret bf**

This isn’t _too_ bad

**Kun**

Hi! nice to meet you, I’m Kun. 

**that not so secret bf**

Nice to meet you too!

**Yuk**

Hi! I’m Lucas, nice to meet you

**that not so secret bf**

Hello!

**Baby demon**

I’m your worst nightmare. 

**Xiaojun**

^

**Donkey**

^

**Win**

^

**10**

Shhh be nice to the person who may possibly be funding your future lunches. 

**Xiaojun**

Hi! I’m Xiaojun rlly nice to meet you

**Baby demon**

I’m Yangyang and I like free food

**Donkey**

I’m Hendery, and it’s nice to meet you!

**10**

Nice to see y’alls love of me doesn’t run as deep as your love for food and money. 

**Win**

I’m Sicheng hi

**that not so secret bf**

SICHENG?

**that not so secret bf**

oh i see now. 

**that not so secret bf**

Hi! I’m Taeyong. 

**Kun**

I’m sorry for Yangyang. 

**Kun**

He’s… a unique freshman. 

**10**

What Kun is _trying_ to say, is

**10**

Yangyang is a brat. 

**10** changed **Baby demon** to **Demon child**

**Demon child**

Fuck you. 

**10**

Ewwww no you’re like my child that’s disgusting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are encouraged and appreciated! :)
> 
> See ya’ll next update!
> 
> (Also Loveholic is out and damn it’s good)
> 
> (Another sidenote: I published another nct fic, and it will update tertiary to this one and Promise.)


	8. Chapter 8

**Sun & Moon Cult**

H

**Jaemin**

Happpy anniversaryyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! I love youuuuu!!!!!!!!!!

**Renjun**

Eh?

**Mork**

Yo what

**Chenle**

jAEmIn??

**Moon**

I sense

**Moon**

Some s e c r e t s h e r e  _ J a e m i n.  _

**Taro**

👀

**Sun**

I love drama

**Jaemin**

Huh what

**Jaemin**

oh

**Jaemin**




**Jaemin**

SHIT I’M SO SORRY PLS FORGET YOU EVER SAW THAT IMA GO DIE OF ENBARASSMENT NOW JRRKDIHSSJNDJD SHXISN EX JAN DXINW SUHAN EII NO SUSNNO

**Tyong**

embarrassment*

**Tyong**

Also

**Tyong**

who

**Renjun**

Hyung you sound very calm right now

**Tyong**

Ofc

**Tyong**

I’m always calm wdym

**Johnny**

He’s frozen in shock, so don’t believe a thing he says. 

**Tyong**

(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

**Johnny**

My point exactly ★彡

**Tyong**

@(・●・)@

**Jaemin** left the chat

**Jisung** added  **Jaemin** to the chat

**Jaemin** removed  **Jisung** from the chat

**Jaemin** left the chat

**JungUwU** added  **Jaemin** to the chat

**JungUwU** added  **Jisung** to the chat

**Jaemin** removed  **JungUwu** from the chat

**Jaemin** removed  **Jisung** from the chat

**Jaemin** left the chat

**Mork** added  **Jisung** to the chat

**YuTa** added **JungUwU** to the chat

**Jeno** added  **Jaemin** to the chat

**Jaemin**

No. 

**Sun**

Yes. 

**Moon**

Yes. 

**Sun**

You

**Sun**

Cannot

**Sun**

Escape

**Sun**

The cult. 

**Johnny**

rip

**Renjun**

F

**Chenle**

F

**Jisung**

F

**Tennie**

F

**Doyoung**

Whats f

**Jisung**

A cool people thing

**Jisung**

For cool gen z people

**Jisung**

you’re old you wouldn’t understand 

**Doyoung**

I-

**Doyoung**

Thats an insult isn’t it

**Doyoung**

So what does Ten qualify as

**Jisung**

Cooler than u

**Chenle**

f

**Renjun**

f

**Tennie**

**😎**

**Doyoung**

I-

**Doyoung**

_ rude _

**Tennie**

kEk

**10 😎** changed  **Tennie** to  **10 😎**

**10 😎** added  **xxx xxx xxxx** to the chat

**10 😎** added  **xxx xxx xxxx** to the chat

**10 😎** added  **xxx xxx xxxx** to the chat

**10 😎** added  **xxx xxx xxxx** to the chat

**10 😎** added  **xxx xxx xxxx** to the chat

**10 😎** added  **xxx xxx xxxx** to the chat

**10 😎** has shared contact  **Yangyang <3 **

**10 😎** has shared contact  **Kun <3 **

**10 😎** has shared contact  **Hendery <3 **

**10 😎** has shared contact  **Lucas <3 **

**10 😎** has shared contact **Xiaojun** **< 3 **

**10 😎** has shared contact  **Sicheng <3 **

  
  


**Seniors + Jaehyun**

**Yuta**

ENJDIFUSNOD WKDHE. SKGEVD DIYEVWLPA EHSIHDN SKZYGA. GAYEAS JEITSB HUMN

**Jaehyun**

👌

  
  


**Sun & Moon Cult**

**Johnny**

Why does everyone have a heart on their name

**10 😎**

Not everyone just close friends

**Yangyang <3**

I knew u loved me

**10 😎**

I take that back. 

**10 😎**

I take everything back. 

**10 😎** changed  **Yangyang <3 ** to  **Ew**

**Tyong**

Hi random people that I already know!

**Sun**

The entrance fee was 500 won. I expect payment by next week!

**Hendery <3**

Who are you?

**10 😎**

Friends

**Hendery <3**

Cool

**Moon**

Hi (I’m Taeil)

**Sicheng <3**

Coffee guy?

**Moon**

You remembered??

**Sicheng <3**

maybe maybe not

**Jaemin**

Lo im jaemin

**Renjun**

Hi I’m renjun

**Jisung**

Jisung

**JungUwU**

Hii im jungwoo

**Chenle**

my name is in the name

**Doyoung**

Hello ^

**Jaehyun**

^

**YuTa**

^ @sicheng <3

**YuTa**

Remember me? 🥺

**Sicheng <3 **

No

  
  


**Seniors + Jaehyun**

**Taeil**

rip

**Taeil**

**YuTa**

🤬

**YuTa**

😔

  
  


**Chaos Incarnate**

**Kun**

Lol

**Yuk**

Lmao

**Win**

Shhhhhh

  
  


**Sun & Moon Cult**

**Johnny**

^

**Taro**

Im shotaro hi

**Sun2**

Im sungchan hi

**Mork**

Hi im mark

**Mork**

sun is donghyuck

**Sun**

Y’all arts majors?

**Xiaojun <3**

👀

**Xiaojun <3**

Ofc

**Xiaojun <3**

Art is the superior profession

**Xiaojun <3**

And most unstable

**Xiaojun <3**

But who cares its fun

**Sun**

🤝

**Sun**

Nice to meet you fellow arteests

**Sun**

I still expect tax though

**Sun**

After all

**Sun**

Its the name of the chat

**Ew**

Im broke

**Ew**

But there's an easy solution

**Mork** changed  **Sun & Moon Cult ** to  **arteests**

**Ew**

Great minds think alike 

**Ew**

I like u

**Mork**

_ Finally _ someone who’s nice

**10 😎**

Oh you’ll see. 

**10** 😎

_ You’ll all see… _

**Sicheng <3**

Ominous

**10 😎**

Aw rlly thx i was trying so hard 😌


End file.
